


Road Work Ahead

by sippingonstardust



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and the Signal (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Family Shenanigans, Gen, Mostly Dialogue, Road Trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 16:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sippingonstardust/pseuds/sippingonstardust
Summary: “When do you want to do it?”“I was kidding,” she says, shaking her head, goofy smirk fading fast. “We’d kill each other.”“Maybe,” Dick hums. “But maybe it would be good for us. We deserve to get out of the city for once.”





	Road Work Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that title is a vine reference. Also, this hasn't been beta'd.

Dick— not for the first time— spares himself a moment to re-evaluate his life choices. He can’t honestly believe that he’s about to agree to such a ridiculous suggestion.

A road trip.

With all _seven_ of them.

He must be losing it.

The request had come from a bedridden Stephanie. A joke cracked in a tense room with the hope of alleviating the intensity of the worry and anger that lingered at her bedside in the sterile infirmary.

“When do you want to do it?”

“I was kidding,” she says, shaking her head, goofy smirk fading fast. “We’d kill each other.”

“Maybe,” Dick hums. “But maybe it would be good for us. We deserve to get out of the city for once.”

++

A dark tinted Volvo XC90 sits in the courtyard with its boot open, engine a low purr as the vehicle warmed up.  Cass and Steph are already inside, commandeering the third row with travel mugs of coffee and Tupperware containers of pancakes in each of their hands.

It’s barely past seven in the morning, the sun floating high and bright in the sky, past a clear expanse of cloudless blue. They’re all— with the exception of Dick—  dressed, packed and ready for the next two days.

Duke checks his watch for a second time in the space of ten minutes, to say he was anxious was a bit of an overstatement. After all, if he could handle a road trip with Batman and Two-Face, he could handle anything.

Still, he’d be stupid not be concerned. They were going to be crammed into one vehicle for a myriad of hours. Tim and Damian were not going to be happy unless they had knives (sometimes literal in Damian’s case) to each other’s throats and he was pretty sure Steph’s road trip playlist— that she kept insisting was the best thing since sliced bread— consisted only of Disney songs. And not the original versions. No, youtube covers.

He checks his watch again, circles the car and texts Dick “hurry up” with three frowny emojis before sliding into the second row of seats.

“I am _not_ listening to any of Drake’s dumb podcasts.”

“Shut up, Damian,” Tim says, crawling into the trunk to shove Jason’s duffle bag more firmly into the corner.

“No one wants to hear that boring shit, Timbo,” Jason agrees, swapping his bag for Tim’s with a rough shrug.

“Cass likes my podcasts, right? Tell ‘em, Cass.”

“I like the one where they drink and tell ghost stories,” she says, sympathetically.

Steph bounces up and down in her seat, “Ok but why are we even having this discussion? My playlist is bomb _and-_ ”

Damian shuts the boot with a rough slam, effectively cutting Stephanie off mid-sentence. She growls, presses a middle finger to the window and steals his own container of vegan pancakes.

++

When Dick finally makes it out of the house, they’re all seated and idly awaiting him. He takes a long look at the car, driver’s seat empty and waiting for him and wonders how bad would it be if he ran back into the house and locked the door behind him.

Bruce had laughed. Straight up cackled until he was bent over his rolling chair in the cave after Dick told him what they’d planned to do. At the time, he’d prickled and snidely reminded his dad that they were more than capable of being in each other’s presence for a few days with no casualties.

At least Cass and Jason had stopped violently assaulting each other last year after Cass had broken Jay’s nose. Their feud had now boiled down to ignoring each other’s existence as much as they possibly could. Tim and Damian were super annoying when they fought but as long as Cass and Duke were there to distract them, it would be fine. And as long as he kept Stephanie’s sugar intake down to a minimum, they wouldn’t be at risk of committing mass suicide in his luxury soccer mom car.

They were going to be fine.

++

“We should stop for snacks.”

Cass leans up to stick her head into the line of the rearview mirror, eyes pleading and mouth pouted.  She looks so small and innocent tucked into the last row of the car. Dick huffs as the inkling to comply shoves his good sense to the side.

“What happened to the snacks Alfred packed, Cassie?”

“Jason ate them.” Damian supplies, cheeks overstuffed and bulging.

“I did not!”

“You did.”

“Did not!”

Duke groans, sinking down further into his seat between them. “Can we please just stop somewhere?”

Tim taps around his phone, sliding his legs off the dashboard before straightening up. “There’s a McDonald’s coming up.”

++

“Let me drive.”

“No.”

“Let me drive,” he repeats firmly for the second time.

Jason sighs. “No, Damian.”

“Drake got to drive and he’s an imbecile,” he tuts, aiming a kick at the front seat. Steph doesn’t react to it, she just turns her head and keeps snoring.

“Yes, but he’s also legally allowed to drive.”

“Since when have you cared about what’s legal when lives are at stake, Todd?”

“Why didn’t you bug Dick about this?”

Damian hums, “You’re more gullible than he is.”

++

Tim lets his head drop against the glass of the window, the condensation of his breath collecting under his nose. “Steph, I swear to god. To capital ‘G’, God. If you make me listen to another-”

“HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE WOLF CRY TO THE BLUE CORN MOON-”

“Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned-”

“Will both of you shut up!”

A slow, devious smile crosses Cass' face. She pulls herself up onto her calves, turning around to lean into Jason's negative little bubble. "CAN YOU SING WITH ALL THE VOICES OF THE MOUNTAIN—"

Tim watches this unfold in slow motion. Duke,  shifts bodily away from Jason with a look of tense panic and Damian leans past the passenger's seat as far as he can with his phone outstretched and camera recording.

"No."

" —CAN YOU PAINT WITH ALL THE COLOURS OF THE WIND."

"I wanna die."

"Again?" Dick supplies.

++

“I spy with my little eye something….purple.”

“Brown’s hoodie.”

“Yep. Your turn now, Demon brat,” Tim nods.

“Mikado.”

Dick tuts, twisting in his seat to give Damian a look. “No Dames. You have to say ‘ _I spy with my little eye._ ’”

“I’d rather choke.”

Jason offers him a shark-like grin, “Say it or I’ll tell Dick your secret finsta name.”

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.”

“Try me, baby bat.”

Damian groans, “I spy with my- _ahem-_ little eye something Mikado.”

“Man, can’t you just say yellow?” Duke snickers, shaking his head.

“Oh! _Oh!_ Dick’s dad sneakers.”

“Uh-huh.”

Steph fist pumps, sticking her tongue out at Tim.

From where she was tucked into her eldest brother’s side, feigning sleep, Cass hissed. “Why did you have to make us look at them, Damian.”

“I’m still confused about the finsta thing.”

++

“Why is there so much Juice Wrld on your phone?”

Damian shrugs, slurping obnoxiously at the dregs of his slushy. “Still better than your dad music.”

Dick gasps, taking a hand off the wheel to clutch at his chest.

“Shots fired,” Cass laughs.

Steph looks up from her bag of chips to add. “He’s right and he should say it.”

“Do you have that one, tolerable Post Malone song?” Tim asks as he slides the end of Jason’s discarded sweatshirt into his brother’s snoring mouth.

“Sunflower? Yeah.”

“Please save us.”

++

“Hey, Tim.”

“Yeah, Cass?”

“Thanks for taking time off work to do this with us.”

She leans over the console to wrap a cold hand around his wrist, gently squeezing. It’s strange, even for both of them who are so used to holding out expectations anymore, to be allowed to cultivate normal experiences. Normal enough for them, at least.

Dick, trapped under the weight of a sleeping Damian on one end and a snoring Duke on the other, leans forward as much as he can to tap on Cass’ shoulder. “Thank me now.”

“Thank you, Dick.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo.”

“What am I thanking you for?”

“This was my idea.”

Steph throws a scrunched up brown bag at him, “ _Fuck_ off, Grayson. This was my idea.”

++

They get a flat just off the highway.

One glorious minute they're singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody (the Panic at the Disco version because  Tim claims it’s the superior one), the next the vehicle is rocking violently to one side and their harmonious chorus is interrupted by a loud boom. It’s followed by a tremulous hissing that doesn’t seem to cease as silence settles in the car.

Six heads turn to the one at the wheel, each pair of eyes torn between amusement and pity.

“Why are you all looking at me?”

“Remind us of how you met Bruce again, Jay.” Steph intones.

“Removing tires isn’t the same as changing them, Brown. It would be wise to let someone with a significantly higher level of intelligence—”

Jason sputter. “Finish that sentence and I’ll press the eject button.”

“There _is_ no eject button.”

“Seriously, Jay.” Duke pleads, “Just change the tire.”

++

_“Turn left in 500 metres.”_

“There is no left turn in 500 metres.”

_“Turn left in 500 metres.”_

“Bitch!” Steph grabs the phone out of Jason’s hands as he snorts into his fist. “There is no turn in 500 metres.”

“I told you guys we should have brought a map.”

“Should have let me drive, instead.”

This is followed by a collective, “No, Damian.”

++

“Alright, you have ten minutes to pee and stock up on snacks. Your time starts now. Go, go, go!”

 

There’s a frantic scramble of vigilante’s and a cacophony of slamming doors that follow Dick’s statement. The bored-looking gas attendant lets out a startled streak at the herd of teenagers barreling past him and jumps behind one of the pumps.

 

“Quick,” Duke stretches around him to hit the auto-lock button. “We’re finally free. Let’s drive off before they come back.”

“They know our final destination. Where will we go to evade them?”

“Canada.”

“Where the moose live!” Dick pumps a fist in the air, releasing a warbly noise from his throat.

Duke sighs. “Nevermind, I’ll just die here.”

++

Steph and Duke keep up a pattern of switching out the responsibility of driving every two hours. Mostly because when he isn't the one in the front seat, Dick gets restless and annoying. And also, because Stephanie is a lot of things but a great driver is not one of them and Duke has no desire to die by her road rage.

By the time they've done it thrice, she'd already yelled at four truck drivers and cussed out two. At this point, Duke was sure that Damian had learned a whole new sleuth of bad words to mutter venomously under his breath.

"How much longer do we have?"

"Few more hours."

Dick stretches, throws his hands up and swings them back down in a wide arc that has Tim glaring. "Let's make a pit-stop."

Cass pats his arm gently, "Need to pee again?"

"What? _No_."

"It's okay, Big Bird. Bladder issues are common with old age." Jason adds helpfully.

"I just love it how the two of you can't sit next to each other without fighting, but it's super easy to team up and bully me."

++

Coast City is gorgeous under the burning caress of sunset. The greenery that lines each side of the road is thick and healthy. The ocean laps gently at the sand as low tide rolls in. It’s the complete opposite of the weary Gotham grey and tired skies, and it’s precisely what they all needed.

Tim rolls down all the windows, basking happily in slick sea-salt air that immediately seeps into the car. They all feel it, the soothing balm of peace that accompanies the success of actually making it to their destination.

They pull up to an empty beach, fling themselves out of the car, tugging off their shoes and bumping into each other haphazardly as the rush to the shore. Jason falls face first into the sand in his haste to beat Damian to the water and Steph crumples behind him in laughter.

With both of them down, Dick scoops Damian up over his shoulder and pelts off towards the swirling blue of the ocean.

"If you drop me, Grayson—"

"Do you want to win or not, Little D?"

Duke charges past them cackling.

"Yes, of course. Run. Run _faster._ "

Tim hangs back with Cass, watches her flop down next to Steph in the sand and then gracefully drapes himself over both of them.

"This was fun right?" Steph asks, wiggling her toes in the grains.

"Yep."

"And we all survived. Made it out here in one piece."

"Sure did."

"You guys are going to call B and ask him if we can take the jet back, aren't you?"

"Oh, absolutely."

Cass nods, "As soon as possible."


End file.
